If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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