I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
