I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's blow job season.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
