.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
