I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
