we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
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No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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