She said her name was "party"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
