Ambien. No doubt about it.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I wish there were birth control emojis
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
