if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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