Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
