Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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