Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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