Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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