I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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