Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
