OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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