you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize