You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize