'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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