We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
