Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
