Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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