it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
