he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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