So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
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She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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