I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize