I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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