biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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