He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
