you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
