Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
