you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
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please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
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No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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