Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
