I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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