I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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