Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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