this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
