Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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