I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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