if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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