you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
