meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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