he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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