I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
