Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Pants are for mortals
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