this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
