Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize