You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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