I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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