I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
