can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
