He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
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