Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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