I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
