I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize