My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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