Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
