I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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